this guys videos are fucking incredible i really want everyone to watch them
this man is like midas but with knives instead of gold, he can make anything a knife, sicssor knives ,ice knives, cardboard knives, tiny knives if it can be made into a knife he will do it, and if he cant, he will do it anyway because fuck you
This doesn’t even have the best one. One time he made a knife out of ravioli then proceeded to use the knife made out of ravioli to cut up cheese and tomatoes and basil and shit then took the ravioli knife that he had used to cut up his other ingredients and cooked said knife with those ingredients and ate the fucking knife!
The empty fridge that only contains Jack Daniels Chocolate
That one time a bear figurine possessed with a demon would attack him if he didn’t pet it so he had to build a machine that constantly rolled the bear against brushes so he would be safe long enough to finish the knife
This man is legitimately just the God of Blades. Instead of being some unbelievable badass swordsman, he’s a slightly quirky YouTuber who can essentially make anything sharp. HE MADE A KNIFE OUT OF CHOCOLATE, PEOPLE!
you know what actually pisses me off? when I finally start to feel a smidge of confidence in my writing ability and then some JERK POSTS A SINGLE LINE FROM A TERRY PRATCHETT NOVEL AND IT’S BETTER THAN ANYTHING I WILL EVER WRITE NO MATTER HOW MANY MILLENNIA I SPEND TRYING!
Terry was a professional writer from the age of 17. He worked as a journalist which meant that he had to learn to research, write and edit his own work very quickly or else he’d lose his job.
He was 23 when his first novel was published. After six years of writing professionally every single day. The Carpet People was a lovely novel, from a lovely writer, but almost all of Terry’s iconic truth bomb lines come from Discworld.
The Colour of Magic, the first ever Discworld novel was published in 1983. Terry was 35 years old. He had been writing professionally for 18 years. His career was old enough to vote, get married and drink. We now know that at 35 he was, tragically, over half way through his life. And do you know what us devoted, adoring Discworld fans say about The Colour of Magic? “Don’t start with Colour of Magic.”
It is the only reading order rule we ever give people. Because it’s not that great. Don’t get me wrong, very good book, although I’ll be honest I’ve never been able to finish it, but it’s nowhere near his later stuff. Compare it to Guards Guards, The Fifth Elephant, the utterly iconic Nightwatch and it pales in comparison because even after nearly 20 years of writing, half a lifetime of loving books and storytelling Terry was still learning.
He was a man with a wonderful natural talent, yes. But more importantly he worked and worked and worked to be a better writer. He was writing up until days before he died. He spent 49 years learning and growing as a writer, taking so much joy in storytelling that not even Alzheimer’s could steal it from him. He wouldn’t want that joy stolen from you too.
Terry was a wonderful, kind, compassionate, genius of a writer. And all of this was in spite of many many people telling him he wasn’t good enough. At the age of five his headmaster told him that he would never amount to anything. He died a knight of the realm and one of the most beloved writers ever to have lived in a country with a vast and rich literary tradition. He wouldn’t let anyone tell him that he wasn’t good enough. And he wouldn’t want you to think you aren’t good enough. He especially wouldn’t want to be the reason why you think you aren’t good enough.
You’re not Terry Pratchett.
You are you.
And Terry would love that.
I only ever had a chance to talk to Terry Pratchett once, and that was in an autograph line. I’d bought a copy of The Carpet People, which was his very first book, and he looked at it with a faint air of concern. “You realise that I wrote that when I was very young,” he said, in warning.
“Yes,” I said. “But I like seeing how authors grow.”
He brightened and reached for his pen. “That’s all right then,” he said, and signed.
class of 2013: “mommy issues”/fear of failure/”lack of parental approval”
remember my name: hunger
best american girl: “a senseless, ridiculous, incurable need to be wanted by white men”
pearl diver: “knowing you gave up something really good for something that seemed better, but ultimately made it worse for you, and that regret” / unquenchable need to know, a never-ending existential crisis
townie: “a sort of restlessness mixed with impulsiveness, sick of a life in stagnation, wanting to just let go and live life fast and dangerous at any expense; just to feel something, just to feel alive at all…but knowing u probably won’t. rebellion from authority/yourself.”
square: need to make yourself feel real, to find a shape to mold yourself after / “unsteadiness and new knowledge. learning from mistakes”
francis forever: “self identity and the fear of being misunderstood/not having someone who actually Knows you and going through life Unseen” / “codependency, missing someone”
my body’s made of crushed little stars: “all us who are trying to prove theyre worth something but also are 100% to fucking LOSE IT at any time. bonus points for religious guilt (kill me in Jerusalem)” / “having big ambitions and dreams but being weighed down by the stuff you have to do to survive, shed rather die than not have the ambitious life she wants to have”
last words of a shooting star: “feeling fleeting, unnoticed, hopelessly trapped in a life of loneliness, depression and unreachable goals, being passively suicidal”
nobody: “being lonely and touch starved because as early as middle or high school you were designated as not date material, possibly the ugly friend, and thus having no idea how to present yourself for romantic endeavors + only knowing about intimacy through books or movies but craving it So Much into adulthood”
first love/late spring: “fear of vulnerability liquid smooth: fear of aging/becoming weak and unloveable”
fireworks: “numbness kind of depression”
dan the dancer/shame/once more to see you: “hiding somethin big abt yourself from the world”
old friend/two slow dancers/i want you: “unresolved feelings for a person from your past”
a pearl: “holding on 2 trauma and tocixity, seeing it as a part of your identity”
crack baby: “tryin 2 fill a void with addictions”
geyser: “being obsessed with the idea of true love to the point where you force it upon every person you meet and fall in love daily just to get hurt”
Pink in the Night: “the intense desire to have one more chance at a past relationship”
Goodbye my danish sweetheart: "dealing with the fact that you and others are not static people and that you can change and grow apart even when you dont want to"
Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other
In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy
actually IIRC this was the first photo with a specific type of camera or equipment “cos THE progenative shitlord of cat memes was Harry Pointer. And around 1870 he decided that Au Naturelle photos of cats weren’t gonna cut it, and started doing shit like this:
then he realised HE COULD CAPTION THEM
and thus the dignity of the feline was forever destroyed.
